Not like anyone gives a crap... But damnit, I love gay cowboys too much.
Brokeback should have won best picture. And that's that.
The academy totally copped out. Instead of giving brokeback what it completely deserved, they gave it to a movie that won't even be remembered in a couple of years. But everyone, I'm sure, will remember the gay cowboy movie. So yeah, let's not be controversial and give it to the gay love story... right.
Lol, I have no idea why I'm so bitter about this. I just really loved this movie. And I think it was totally robbed. It was probably the best movie I've seen in years. But that's just me.
But like I said, no one but me cares.
Oh and Jake Gyllenhaal... Gorgeous. Just gorgeous. lol. We should have babies. No kidding haha. They'd have amazing blue eyes.
Anywho, what else has been going on? Well, I see my life on a downward spiral. Just seems whenever I'm happy, it never lasts. And now, I've been trying to replace someone and it just is not working. I can't seem to get over it. And though he totally treated me like shit, I'm not denying that at all, I still cannot get over wanting to have what we used to have. Stupid, I know. I let people do this to me, I cry about it, say I'll never let anyone do it again, and then I'm right back doing the exact same thing. It's a vicious cycle.
So yeah, all I can think about is how I want things the way they were, you know, when I was actually happy. I know he was a total jerk who took me for granted and treated me like complete shit. No one deserves to be broken up with in a text. haha. And he's still being a jerk to me by not being a man and talking to me about any problem we ever had, therefore making it harder for me to put it behind me and still be friends. But still, I must be some kind of idiot. I miss everything. I miss what we had, and the excitement, and the fresh feeling of someone new, and even after all those months it still felt new, and I just miss everything about him. But really, what I miss the most is the way he used to treat me, like I was everything, like I mattered, like I was really special. I used to not have to wonder whether or not he liked me. I knew that he did. The worst part about this is that I now realized how much I totally fell for him. He fucking got me good. That's why I can't get over it so easily I guess. I really was close to being in love, I think. And he got me so good.
Why do relationships have to be so hard? Now I feel like I'm just going to be thinking about what I miss with him with whatever guy I go for next. Or how it should be him instead. I know, stupid me. I will get over that feeling after a while. I should be over it now. Blah. I know, time heals. But I don't see it happening anytime soon. Gotta have hope though. Always gotta have hope. It's all I got left.
I love Three 6 Mafia and am so glad they won last night lol awesome.
I think I'll be looking for love for a very long time before I find it... that is, if I find it.
Here's my thought on gay people: If you are lucky enough to find love, no matter who it's with, male or female, then good for you. more power to you. many of us won't ever be that lucky. so if you find love and it truly makes you both happy, then who is anyone to tell you it's wrong or sinful or whatever? that's not fair. Love is love. Take it wherever you can get it and wherever makes you the happiest.
Sorry, this is what Brokeback does to you. lol.
And it should have won! Bastards.
Why is it that when you are just out of a relationship, guys think it's ok to take advantage of you?
But really, I do need a rebound. lol oh, that sounds terrible.
But it's true!
The amount of offers has been amazing lol simply amazing.
You know what? That makes me sound like a slut.
Eh, oh well.
But hey, good thing about all this crap... new years resolution = complete
Ok, I'm done. I'm done talking about relationship problems/solutions. The solution being a rebound. haha. terrible, truly terrible.